function rand(num) { var out = Math.round(parseFloat(Math.random()*num)); return (out); } var quote = new Array ( ""Ash nazg durbatulúk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul."
The Dark Lord" , ""All dead, all rotten. Elves and Men and Orcs. The Dead Marshes."
Gollum" , ""We are the fighting Uruk-hai! We slew the great warrior. We took the prisoners. We are the servants of Saruman the Wise, the White Hand: the Hand that gives us man´s-flesh to eat."
Uglúk" , ""I am Uglúk. I command."
Uglúk" , ""Precious, precious, precious! My Precious! O my Precious!"
Gollum" , ""My master, Sauron the Great, bids thee welcome. Is there any in this rabble with authority to treat with me? "
The Mouth of Sauron ~film~" , ""The halfling was dear to thee, I see. Know that he suffered greatly at the hands of his host. Who knew that one so small could endure so much pain? And he did, Gandalf, he did."
The Mouth of Sauron ~film~" , ""Teeth! teeth! my preciousss; but we has only six!"
Gollum" , ""Gibbits and crows! DOTARD! What do you want, Gandalf Greyhame? Let me guess. The key of Orthanc? Or perhaps the keys of Barad-dûr itself? Along with the crowns of the seven kings and the rods of the five wizards?"
Saruman" , ""It takes more to make a King than a piece of elvish glass, or a rabble such as this. Why? any brigand of the hills can show as good a following."
Mouth of Sauron" , ""Saruman, Saruman! Saruman, you missed your path in life. You should have been the king's jester and earned your bread, and stripes too, by mimicking his counsellors. Ah me!"
Gandalf" , ""Far off yet is his doom, and not by the hand of man will he fall."
Fate of the Witch-king" , ""You cannot enter here. Go back to the abyss prepared for you! Go back! Fall into the nothingness that awaits you and your Master. Go!"
Gandalf" , ""Old Fool! Old Fool! This is my hour. Do you not know Death when you see it? Die now and curse in vain!
Lord of the Nazgûl"" , ""Come not between the Nazgul and his prey! Or he will not slay thee in thy turn. He will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shrivelled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye."
The Witch-king" , ""You know what they awoke in the darkness of Khazad-dum... shadow and flame."
Saruman ~film~" , ""The hour is later than you think. Sauron's forces are already moving. The Nine have left Minas Morgul. They crossed the River Isen on Midsummer's Eve, dressed as riders in black."
Saruman ~film~" , ""Listen, Hound of Sauron. Gandalf is here. Fly, if you value your foul skin! I will shrivel you from tail to snout, if you come within this ring."
Gandalf" , ""The power of Isengard is at your command, Sauron, Lord of the Earth."
Saruman ~film~" , ""You cannot pass. I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn.
Go back to the Shadow! You cannot pass."
Gandalf" , ""They will find the Ring, and kill the one who carries it."
Saruman ~film~" , ""You have nice manners for a thief and a liar."
Smaug" , ""There is only one Lord of the Ring, only one who can bend it to his will. And he does not share power."
Gandalf ~film~" , ""Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the world."
Gandalf ~film~" , ""You did not seriously think that a hobbit could contend with the will of Sauron, there are none that can."
Saruman ~film~" , ""Wicked men. Servants of Sauron. They are called to Mordor. The Dark One is gathering all armies to him. It won't be long now. He will soon be ready."
Gollum" , ""A new power is rising. Its victory is at hand. This night the land will be stained with the blood of Rohan. March to Helm's Deep. Leave none alive. To war!"
Saruman ~film~" , ""I tell you. There's a great fighter about, one of those bloody-handed Elves, or one of the filthy tarks."
Snaga" , ""Precious, precious, precious! My Precious! O my precious."
Gollum" , ""Swagger it, swagger it, my little cock-o-whoop."
Sharkey's ruffians" , ""I found it, I did. A way through the marshes. Orcs don't use it. Orcs don't know it. They go round for miles and miles. Come hobbitses, soft and quick as shadows we must be."
Gollum" , ""Kill gorgûn! Kill orc-folk! No other words please Wild Men. Drive away bad air and darkness with bright iron."
Ghân-buri-Ghân" , ""She jabs them with her stinger and they go as limp as a boned fish. Then she has her way with them. That's how she likes to feed-fresh blood. Take him to the tower!"
Gorbag ~film~" , ""There's only one Dragon in Bywater, and that's Green."
Ted Sandyman" , ""And now, what ship will bear you back across so wide a sea? It will be a grey ship, and full of ghosts."
Saruman" , ""One thief deserves another."
Saruman" , ""You have grown, Halfling. Yes, you have grown very much. You are wise, and cruel. You have robbed my revenge of sweetness, and now I must go hence in bitterness, in debt to your mercy. I hate it and you!"
Saruman" , ""What has it got in its pocketses?"
Gollum" , ""Mutton yesterday, mutton today, and blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrer."
Bert the Troll" , ""My armor is like tenfold shields, my teeth are swords, my claws spears, the shock of my tail a thunderbolt, my wings a hurricane, and my breath death."
Smaug" , ""Now we see you, you nasty little creature! We will eat you and leave your bones and skin hanging on a tree... we'll hang him head downwards on a tree for a day or two."
Spider of Mirkwood" , "<"Saruman is a fool, and a dirty treacherous fool. But the eye is on him."
Grishnakh" , ""There is a third kind: pickers of bones, meddlers in other mens sorrows, carrionfowl that grow fat on war. What aid have you ever brought, Stormcrow?"
Wormtongue" , ""Murderers and elf friends! Slash them! Beat them! Bite them! Gnash them! Take them away to dark holes filled with snakes, and never let them see the light again!"
The Great Goblin" , ""Is it nice, my preciousss? Is it juicy? Is it scrumtiously crunchable?"
Gollum" , ""Bless us and splash us, my precioussss! I guess it's a choice feast; at least a tasty morsel it'd make us, gollum!"
Gollum" , ""Thief, thief, thief! baggins! We hates it, we hates it, we hates it for ever!"
Gollum" , ""Deserves it! I daresay he does. But many that live deserve death. Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends."
Gandalf ~film~" , ""Yea, I will drink thy blood gladly, that so I may forget the blood of Beleg my master, and the blood of Brandir slain unjustly. I will slay thee swiftly."
The sword Gurthang" , ""The doom lies in yourself, not in your name."
Gwindor" , ""If none can release us then indeed the Everlasting Darkness shall be our lot, whether we keep our oath or break it; but less evil shall we do in the breaking."
Maglor" , ""… his name is Melkor, Lord of All, Giver of Freedom, and he shall make you stronger than they."
Sauron" , ""Many are the strange chances of the world and helps oft shall come from the hands of the weak when the Wise falter."
Mithrandir" , ""O woe-begotten spirit, fall now into dark oblivion and forget for a while the dreadful doom of life."
Lúthien" , ""Few now remember them, yet still some go wandering, sons of forgotten kings walking in loneliness, guarding from evil things folk that are heedless."
Tom Bombadil" , ""The Nazgûl they were; the Ringwraiths, the Enemy's most terribly servants; darkness went with them and they cried with the voices of death."
from The Silmarillion" , ""...With their whips of flame they smote asunder the webs of Ungoliant, and she quailed, and turned to fight, belching black vapours to cover her."
from The Silmarillion" , ""After Morgoth to the ends of the Earth! War shall he have and hatred undying."
from The Silmarillion" , ""If you wish to be slain, I will slay you gladly."
Glaurung - The Dragon" , ""Instead of a dark lord, you would have a queen, beautiful and terrible. All will love her and despair."
Galadriel" , ""One does not simply walk into Mordor, There is evil there that does not sleep."
Boromir ~film~" , ""They are coming."
Gandalf in Moria" , ""You are the Uruk Hai of Isengard..you do not know pain, you do not know fear, you hunger for manflesh!"
Saruman ~film~" , ""What new devilry is this?"
Boromir in Moria ~film~" , ""Send forth all legions. Do not stop the attack until the city is taken. Slay them all."
The Witch-king ~film~" , ""Gothmog~ What of the wizard? Witch King~ I will break him."
The Witch-king ~film~" , ""The Age of Men is over. The Time of the Orc has come."
Gothmog ~film~" , ""The veiling shadow that glowers in the East takes shape. Sauron will suffer no rival. From the summit of Barad-dûr his eye watches ceaselessly."
Gandalf ~film~" , ""They are one; the ring and the Dark Lord."
Gandalf ~film~" , ""You cannot wield it. None of us can. The One Ring answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master. "
Aragorn ~film~" , ""The Ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came."
Elrond ~film~" , ""One does not simply walk into Mordor. It's Black Gates are gaurded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland riddled with fire, ash, and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume."
Boromir ~film~" , ""Concealed within his fortress, the lord of Mordor sees all. His gaze pierces cloud, shadow, earth, and flesh."
Saruman ~film~" , ""You know of what I speak, Gandalf: a great Eye, lidless, wreathed in flame."
Saruman ~film~" , ""Do you know how the Orcs first came into being? They were elves once, taken by the dark powers, tortured and mutilated. A ruined and terrible form of life. Now... perfected. My fighting Uruk-Hai."
Saruman ~film~" , ""They are the Nazgûl, Ringwraiths, neither living nor dead. At all times they feel the presence of the Ring, drawn to the power of the One."
Aragorn ~film~" , ""The Ring misseth, maybe, the heat of Sauron's hand, which was black yet burned like fire."
The Fellowship of the Ring" , ""Gorgoroth, the valley of terror in the land of Mordor. Darkness lay there under the sun. Fire glowed amid the smoke. Mount Doom was burning, and a great reek rising. "
The Return of the King" , ""Then at last his gaze was held: wall upon wall, battlement upon battlement, black, immeasurably strong, mountain of iron, gate of steel, tower of adamant, he saw it: Barad-dûr, Fortress of Sauron."
The Return of the King" , ""They were once men. Great kings of men. Then Sauron the deceiver gave to them nine rings of power."
Aragorn ~film~" , ""Nine he gave to Mortal Men, proud and great, and so ensnared them. Long ago they fell under the dominion of the One, and they became Ringwraiths, shadows under his great Shadow, his most terrible servants."
Gandalf" , ""Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you!"
Ringwraiths" , ""None could rival her, Shelob the Great, last child of Ungoliant to trouble the unhappy world."
The Return of the King" , ""She was there, who was there before Sauron, before the first stone of Barad Dur; and she served none but herself, drinking the blood of Elves and Men."
Shelob" , ""Bloated and grown fat with endless broodings on her feasts, weaving webs of shadow; for all living things were her food, and her vomit darkness."
Shelob" ); num = rand(55) document.writeln (quote[num]);